Most people enter into marriage believing it will last forever. So, when things do go wrong, it can be difficult to navigate and challenging to end the partnership without creating tension, conflict, or emotional distress.
Statistics show that just over 9% of people in the UK are divorced. And many are waiting longer before they do decide to commit, perhaps to mitigate the likelihood of having to go through an unsettling divorce.
Unfortunately, separation is still fairly common and can cause difficulties for couples for many reasons:
Children
When a separated couple has children, this can make the break-up of the marriage even more difficult. Parents worry about the impact divorce will have on their family as well as the process of having to make formal and legal childcare arrangements.
Being alone
If a couple have spent a large proportion of their lives together it can feel uneasy to picture life without that person, regardless of the reasons for separation. Loneliness and vulnerability can be huge emotional factors in a divorce.
Finances
Many couples worry about their financial situation when dealing with a separation. There is often a huge impact on finances including aspects such as a mortgage, finding a new home, paying bills and the general worry of having to fend for oneself.
How to minimise conflict
A large part of separation is often disagreements, whether that’s about getting divorced in the first place, making decisions about children or money management. As well as seeking family law and separation advice from a local solicitor, there are a few steps that can be taken to reduce tension:
Mediation
When a couple are failing to see eye to eye on an issue relating to divorce, a mediator can help create an equal outcome. This could be by promoting fairness, enabling each party to see the other side or preventing one partner from getting too focused on one aspect.
De-personalise
Once you’ve decided on separation, it can be a good idea to reduce communication to business terms. This might be by stopping phone calls and text messages and dealing only via email, or by communicating through respective lawyers.
Create a new network
A couple might be used to doing everything together but, when separating, it’s important to find a network of support outside of the relationship. It’s a good idea to begin building friendship groups, activities and interests away from the partnership.
Counselling
Sometimes, even with the best mediator, solicitor, and friends, one or both partners might benefit from their counselling. This can help gain perspective and begin the process of moving forward as a single individual as well as create the time and space to focus on any feelings that might arise without worrying about affecting the other person.
While divorce can be emotionally challenging and can create a huge upheaval, following these steps can make it a bit less distressing and easier to navigate for both parties.
